Not Feeling “Normal” With Anxiety or Depression
For a long time, I thought there was something fundamentally wrong with me because I didn’t feel the way everyone else seemed to feel.
I could show up. I could function. I could even laugh at the right moments. But underneath that, there was a persistent sense of being out of sync. As if everyone else had received instructions for how to exist comfortably in the world, and I somehow missed that lesson.
If you live with anxiety or depression, this feeling may be familiar. Not dramatic. Not always visible. Just a quiet awareness that your internal experience doesn’t match what you think “normal” is supposed to look like.
And that can be heavy to carry.
Why Anxiety and Depression Can Make You Feel Different
Anxiety and depression don’t just affect mood. They affect how your nervous system processes safety, connection, energy, and meaning. Things that appear simple from the outside such as making plans, responding to messages, enjoying moments that are “supposed” to be good—can feel exhausting or complicated on the inside.
Many people describe:
- Feeling emotionally numb or overly sensitive
- Constant self-monitoring or overthinking
- A sense of disconnection, even when surrounded by others
- Guilt for not feeling grateful or happy enough
None of this means you’re broken. It means your system is working overtime to protect you.
The Pressure to Be “Normal”
So much pain comes from comparison. From watching others move through life with what looks like ease and wondering why it doesn’t feel that way for you.
But “normal” is usually an illusion. It’s based on what’s visible, not what’s true.
Most people are managing far more than they show. And for those living with anxiety or depression, the effort it takes just to stay afloat is often invisible, even to ourselves. When we hold ourselves to a standard that ignores this reality, shame quietly fills the gap.
Acceptance Is Not Giving Up
Acceptance is often misunderstood. It can sound like resignation, or like you’re deciding things won’t ever change.
That’s not what acceptance is.
Acceptance is acknowledging your current experience without adding judgment to it. It’s letting go of the internal argument that says you should feel different than you do. It doesn’t mean you stop hoping for relief, rather it means you stop punishing yourself for where you are right now.
When you stop fighting yourself, some of the weight lifts.
What Acceptance Can Look Like in Everyday Life
Acceptance is rarely a big moment. It’s usually small, quiet shifts, like:
- Letting yourself have low-energy days without calling them failures
- Naming what you feel without immediately trying to fix it
- Reducing comparison, even when it feels automatic
- Allowing support instead of carrying everything alone
This doesn’t make anxiety or depression disappear. But it can soften the constant self-criticism that often makes things harder than they need to be.
You Don’t Have to Carry It All Alone
One of the hardest parts of not feeling “normal” is how isolating it can be. Especially when you don’t have the energy, or words to explain what you’re carrying.
For some people, support looks like therapy. For others, it looks like journaling, reflection, or having a safe space to express what’s actually going on inside.
Tools like Abby can help carry some of that weight. Not by fixing you, or telling you how you should feel, but by offering a place to unload thoughts and emotions that don’t always have somewhere to go. Sometimes just being able to put words to what you’re experiencing without judgment can make things feel a little less heavy.
Support doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Even small forms of relief matter.
If you don’t feel “normal,” you are not failing at being human.
Anxiety and depression can change how you experience the world—but they do not take away your worth, your depth, or your capacity for connection. You don’t need to become someone else to be deserving of care and understanding.
Acceptance doesn’t mean everything suddenly feels okay. It simply means you stop adding extra pain to an experience that is already difficult.
And that, on its own, can be a meaningful place to begin.